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MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY. SOMETHING LIKE “I AM”

You know – each of us has own personal history distinguish from history of others and coincidently same as history of others.
Everyone was born totally in same way as others and everyone came here totally alone even one of twins.
Can you tell all and everything about your personal history? I do not believe in this, it is impossible.
Even each day is endless when you lookup.
Therefore we are free to take any points from very many days of many years of long life.
So I was born. I am not joking – it happened and I am happy about this happening. Do you know how many people were not born? If you don’t, it is easy to know. – Just count how many attempts to make baby we do and how many kids we really have.
I was growing up as sensitive child. My family and people around named it spoiled child. I was not spoiled and I did not know I am sensitive, because nobody told me it. However when I became teenager I started to see I am aware of something more than other. I decided it is no good – people must be equal and I began to smoke and drink vodka as almost all my classmates did. I liked it but my family did not.
So I use to live between my family Scylla and my street friends Charybdis.
To be in this non balanced position is pretty odd. You must digest it somehow. I wrote verses to go through this oddness, to transform it and same time I worked as mechanical engineer to live.
One think became clear to me one day. – All people are sensitive, each one is sensitive in one’s personal way.
We all are really equal and we distinguish, we all are different. And there is no contradiction here, is it? Well, how is possible not to nervous here, not to worry? How to live in the world of so different people, men, women, etcetera… Oh my God! So I had to write verses to survive.
And I use to wish to be better adapted to the life. Probably I did it as any introvert does – we usually watch within ourselves and point our own troubles only.
Pretty soon  I noticed that all people around are adapted to their lives not good enough too. It was sad and again I had to write and I wrote and wrote.
One day one more idea came into my skull. At first it sounded as if question. Maybe we can live as we write, and play our own life somehow like we write poetry?
Now my personal story accidentally meet the history of USSR. The “perestroyka” happens.
Before 1985 we could not have any property but personal stuff only like toothbrush and had no right to run any business even non-for-profit.
I had already changed my job gradually from work with things as engineer to work with human beings as psychologist and with my friends and new colleagues established association “Mental Culture”. We did not know good enough what it mean, but we liked how it sounds.
We invited all sorts of teachers, guru and masters from across the country. We were interested in the field of human life and all around human being. The visitors trained and teach us many curious points of this field – from buddhism or Carl Jung’s psychology till massage and Qigong.
I did not miss any meeting. I wanted to train myself as was said by author of “Doctor Zhivago” –
“And leave omissions to be captured
In destiny, not text, and strive
To mark across the margins chapters
And scenes from an entire life.”
Easy to say hard to do, but it is still possible. Everyone can learn this technique. At least everyone can control the reverberation of one’s speech and talk something intellectual with reverberation of mental, cranial cavity of own body, something soulful with reverberation of heart, thoracic cavity and something vital with reverberation of biotic, abdominopelvic cavity of one’s body.
One day I will tell you about this in detail. I promise.

VERSE. March 16, 1988 – Translation will be edited I hope

To talk of jewishness and of a lingering journey of it’s happiness
We can’t, we can as if slow, slow snowing
Snow piles hinder, even though there is nothing any storm
There is nothing a wind, and the light is uncanny for city:
With the absent of source, of direction, of shadows, as in the very beginning, before any words
The destiny and the basis of this rising light
The human mortal longing darkness
Is not separated from

Thus dawn over a sea manifests itself out of the world
Before the sun and overcast and certainly
Snowfall. Snowfall is born from ether of
The TV-radio-forecasts by weathermen to us

Disturbing of wholeness of all dimensions,
Of all times and all names, and spaces
In our bodies is a straightforward tremor of heartbeat
The race of heart muscle darts off from trot to a dance.

The pandemonium of words in conversations zigzagging –
As if we’re looking for a carnival in some city –
In between our brains, our bodies, our thoughts, our hands and tears
Away the limits of masks, clothes, chastity, conscience – into the ball
Of an infinite wholeness –
From floating on the bitchiness course,
Where there was laboring of sextant, of time measurer, of compass,
Where love is – and love is a borderline feeling for
Lonely people, states and spaces.
If you are myself then, what do we need names for?
It can only follow my gaze!
With fear I’m understanding and flying over the sea
For a countless eternity in a row.

Nonetheless, it’s impossible, it’s impossible to split in two,
When the work is bondage, Sabbath is beyond understanding

And Elohim the Dreamer stages the play in the people
A world.
Our world.

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Can you read?

About the inability to read and about the ability to read: “Reading can be a simple experience of reading and can be life experience”.

Time to think about power of perception

There are no such things as metaphysics or mysticism – when we perceive, when we feel. We perceive what we perceive. Do you perceive something supernatural? All right!. You’re lucky. I don’t.

I am happy with my simple perception.

Castaneda told  about skill to move assembling point. I can not change myself into an animal or  a bird.

I (as everybody else) can move  my point of perception by my attention for example from lower Dan T’ian area from abdominal-pelvic cavity to middle Dan T’ian field to thoracic cavity.

Try it. You will note your perception changed.

Observe it – it is really important.
Throw out your thinking, forget your thoughts about 3«M» – Miracle, Metaphysics and Mysticism for awhile. –
Just observe as long as you can. «It’s interesting,» – said Spock and Captain James Kirk always smiled. Listen same music from different level, you’ll like it.

Are you fed up with feeling awful?

I help people who are fed up with feeling awful, who are out of humor with oneself, who are struck crazy because of it.

Every one can improve own situation. Shitty feeling is subject to change. You can balance your constantly reoccurring feelings and experience the fullness of life.

You ready to change but nothing happens. When you ready to cry the crowd have fun. Even happy vacation frequently contains anxiety and you need vacation after vacation. You can not relay on how are things turning out. Any support does not help, either ignorance or feebleness leads around. You lost, just lost. Wonder what will happen to your dreams through having positively balanced feelings.

Listen – it can be different, it will be changed. Your life can be energizing. Imagine changing your life, imagine you having everyday feeling energized, and confidence, and happy. Image feeling clear about what’s going on and what should be done, sometimes disturbances just have disappeared. Picture yourself laughing just because you are happy. Wonder people around you are happy because you have fun. Wonder having productive relationship, decisive support around you. It’s good to feel good, isn’t it?

It is really hard to solve this problem. All life is one long stress. Our education educates to calculate, we trained more or less think inside of the logical scope, and feelings are not something logical or calculable.
You feel awful and what do you have as the best advice!?

“Get relax”.
And tell somebody in agitated state “to relax” is like telling a starving not to be one.

Very rare one knows how to stop feeling bad and even when you know – you can’t.  And even worse – when you dismiss your doom and gloom (if you can) the invisible negativity penetrates your body, and it is a root of some illness. It is the main reason of the failure attempts to get peace – your body knows, scared and resists. Easy to say hard to do.

You may be strong, you may be week but the energy is not for waste. Energy must be collected and used for purpose only. Start to train own body as an energy container. Learn how to use your body to change the mood, and the state, and the feeling. Start training balanced thinking – calculating and picturing at the same time. Tune your body into different states to choose a particular for situation’s needs. School your perception. Find yourself as an executive, as modifier for yourself.

I remember a nice woman in her 60s. She felt disheartened – Kari did not spend long time with her family, because when she heard something from her mother she could not hold emotions and exploded as the bomb after detonation. We went through some sessions and long before the end even before the real tuning work Kari had visited her 96-year-old mother.

It was just fine. She got transition. Kari experienced same strong emotions and they did not cause her blowing up anymore, she had conversations, when she wanted, she did not agree and argued, and easily smiled and said – “ I know”.

When I came here at first I helped people as LMT and Reiki master. Little by little I begin  my counseling. I help people to know how to get peace, how to remain in peace, how to stay confidence – now I help people to know how to help yourself. I train groups and work face to face. I have PhD in Metaphysical Life Coaching and established company, InTheBalance.com Inc. balances feeling awful into experience of fullness of life. Results are internal and very private when new ways to live are opening.

Get started now. If you are keen to learn how to help yourself or you know fellow in need of this skill, please text or VIBER
Mike Girshovsky
(847) 910-2230
or mailto:mike@inthebalance.com.

You’re welcome!

“OK. Finally I’ve agreed – to change the world I have to be transformed myself.
But what does it mean?
Should I get awake 6 AM every morning and quit eating meat?
Or maybe start Qi Gong meditations?
Go to Shambale center?
What else?
How can I get out from this stupid circle?”

I have the answer. You may rich one too.

Trigger the placebo

Nobody worry what will help – medicine, placebo or magic.
We’re looking for result, don’t we?

Manage to trigger the placebo effect that means a lot!

Learn to control it –
you only are responsible for your own happiness.

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